I Don't Deserve You
by 0pium-fiend
Summary: One heartbreak leads to another. 2D/Russel, implied 2D/Murdoc. Rated T because I'm not sure, it's not sexy enough to make it M.


**A/N: Hi! Well, this is my first completed fanfiction, like... ever! It's just a short, angsty thing to ease myself back into writing and I started and finished it in about two hours, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. **

**Pairing(s): Russel/2D, implied Murdoc/2D**

**Disclaimer: I hate these seriously I am not Jamie Hewlett or Damon Albarn (fucking wish I was though.)**

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It was another miserable and stormy night at Kong Studios, and at an ungodly hour of the morning Russel was sat in front of his wide-screen television watching random action movies and gorging himself on various unhealthy snacks. He was so preoccupied with the film (or just eating) that he almost didn't notice the barely audible knock on his bedroom door. Russel tore his glowing white eyes away from the screen, shifted his food to the side and stood up with an irritated sigh, wondering who would bother him at such an hour. He opened his door and what was revealed shocked him to say the least, his ghostly eyes widening.

2D stood there looking positively miserable. He must have been crying not long beforehand because his cheeks were still damp with tears. The azure-haired man had his arms crossed and covering his arms were several deep purple bruises. Upon further analysis, Russel noticed that 2D was sporting a rather impressive blackeye and that his nose and lower lip were bleeding, the latter cut in several places.

"What the Hell happened to you, D?" Russel asked, sounding bewildered. He stood to the side and therefore silently invited his friend inside. 2D looked incredibly vulnerable as he stepped inside and sat down on the couch.

"Murdoc." 2D finally replied quietly when Russel sat down beside him.

_Oh_, Russel thought, suddenly very angry. 2D had confided in Russel that he liked their bassist a few months ago. He couldn't understand what the vocalist saw in Murdoc, but he didn't question it too deeply. It hurt him, though. Russel had secretly liked the air-headed man for quite a long time, always just silently admiring from afar. Finding that out about 2D gave him mixed feelings. On the one hand, it meant 2D was into men, giving him a very slim chance of having him for himself. But, on the other hand, he seemed to really like Murdoc, even with all of the Satanist's faults. And that meant, in Russel's mind, that 2D would be less likely to just move on suddenly. Especially for Russel, of all people.

With a deep sigh, Russel held out his arm, offering a hug to his bandmate. The smaller man accepted it gratefully, resting his blue head on the drummer's chest.

"I don' even know wha' I did wrong, Russ," 2D whined pitifully, licking briefly at his bloodied lips. "I jus' annoy him so easily... I don' mean to, but I aways do! He were furious, saw red I fink, jus' kept on hittin' me and kickin' me till he go' bored and went back to his Winnebago."

Russel's hand clenched into a tight fist on his thigh, becoming progressively more aggravated with a certain Satanist. "He's a total dickhead, man! He ain't pleased by nobody, I don't understand why you still put up with him."

2D shifted uncomfortably. "Russ, you know why..." He said softly, bringing his knees up to his chest.

Russel's heart sank.

"Murdoc don't deserve you, you need to find someone that'll treat you right, D."

2D simply shrugged, sinking deeper into the couch, making himself look even smaller, even more insignificant than he must feel.

Russel just observed him for a while. His strange blue hair, his pasty white skin, his perfectly black, perfectly round eyes, even his lack of teeth was beautiful to the older man. Russel opened his mouth and began to so say something but hastily stopped himself. A series of suggestions as to what he could say or do rushed though his mind, each idea being willed away almost as soon as they had emerged.

After what seemed like hours, without really thinking, Russel reached up and clutched 2D's chin between his large thumb and forefinger, forcing him to look into his eyes.

"Hunh?"

The drummer considered saying something to explain himself, but instead decided that actions were indeed louder than words. He leaned forward and kissed 2D.

Bliss. That's the only word which came to mind when Russel thought about how he felt at that moment. Wonderful, beautiful, perfect bliss. This blissful state, however, was shattered as fast as it had begun. The vocalist had backed away suddenly and was staring at Russel with a mixture of confusion and disgust. Where he had once felt completely at peace, Russel now felt nothing but agony and regret. _He had kissed him. He had kissed him and 2D hadn't kissed back. Why didn't he think of that? He hadn't been thinking, that was the problem. _

"W-wha' was... I..." 2D shook his head before standing up and turning his back on the other man. "I-I... I haff ta go..." And with that, 2D made a swift exit. He didn't look back, just shut the door behind him.

Russel was in shock. What had just happened? Why had it just happened? This isn't what he wanted, not at all. "Oh, my God..."

Russel grabbed the remote and turned off whatever shitty movie was on his television. He'd completely forgotten about his snacks. He rested his head in his hands and just sat alone in the dark.

_Sigh._

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**So yeah, there you go. Please, if you liked this or want to give me some constructive criticism then do so, I appreciate any form of feedback and I'm always striving to become a better writer for you horrible lot. **


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